Lesson Learned

I never feel quite as alive as when I'm being rebuked for something. It's like all of my blood freezes in place; my breathing shallow; my eyes wide and nearly watering. (It's awful.) Truly, every other moment in life is blissful dreams compared to how a perfectionist feels when being asked to improve. The problem this … Continue reading Lesson Learned

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Dear Professor: What I Can’t Say

Dear Professor, I'm really sorry for missing class today. I took the bus from home as usual, but half way to the school I was feeling so nauseated that I had to get off the bus and wait for my dad to pick me up. I attribute this to the cold I've been dealing with, … Continue reading Dear Professor: What I Can’t Say

Shame On Me

It happened again today, and all it took were a few clicks of a mouse and a percentage. Shame, rushing through me in a hot wave. I'm suddenly self-conscious. I feel upset. I feel anxious. I feel like a failure. I'm not enough, not good enough, never good enough. I need to apologize for something. … Continue reading Shame On Me

Words

This is a post. Update: I recently totally BS-ed an English paper and got a 92% on it. No-name state college, I LOVE YOU. (My dad calls this negative reinforcement or something.) Spent a few hours writing a script for a short horror story. It was fun but I realized I'm terrible at horror (prolly … Continue reading Words

Puzzling to Peace

*trigger warning* (I should probably go back and add that warning to like half my posts...) Maney is a puzzle that I'm trying to piece together. It's like I am separate from Maney, and I need to get her back in gear to live and hopefully someday desire life. One thing I like to do is read. … Continue reading Puzzling to Peace