Moving On

There are a lot of words inside me lately, all swirling in my brain and confused about how to get out. The summer is winding down and I'm looking forward to starting Fall 2015 semester soon. This summer ends along with the hope of a new relationship: someone I love decided I wasn't for him. It … Continue reading Moving On


Poetry Friday: Enough

Enough   I will shake with sobs on the couch in the office, cover my face and wish it were over.   I will build a pyramid of used tissues in my lap as my tears stream; slowly working through the questions, and, even harder, the answers.   I will leave thinking I am through—too … Continue reading Poetry Friday: Enough

Why I Am Maney

I started this blog one year ago on the sixteenth. Some of you may have wondered why this blog is called "maney smiles back." Happy one year anniversary, folks. Here's the story: (Quick background: my siblings have called me Maney for years. I think it started in teasing: "Mane-again is a pain-again;" or maybe that stemmed from the nickname. … Continue reading Why I Am Maney

Energy Spent

I gotta be honest with you. It's 11:01 on Sunday night and I've got more on my mind than the consistency and quality of this blog. Mostly, sleep. Glorious, peaceful sleep. Sigh... Certain parts of life have gotten harder lately, like tweeting and blogging and talking to other humans. I just don't have the energy. … Continue reading Energy Spent

Stories and a Shameless Plug

Happy December first! This was me on Thanksgiving morning: I have three family parties in the next three days. Shoot me. Stuff me. Mount me. However, they all went better than I expected. I think the trick is to set your expectations very low and be pleasantly surprised. Right now in life I feel really vulnerable. Being … Continue reading Stories and a Shameless Plug

Getting Serious Adult Help

When I started this blog, most of what I wrote about depression was just memory. I didn't expect to blog while depressed, while suicidal. But it happened so I guess we carry on. Maybe this is more authentic anyway--you get to see my mood changing from day to day. Last week at group therapy I told them I had seriously … Continue reading Getting Serious Adult Help