My anxiety's not as bad as it used to be, but I know that some of you have it that bad and worse. Hold on. You feel alone but you're not.
So vulnerable, so true. Love is something I personally need to focus on when dealing with differing political opinions.
Politics has this subtly unnerving way of creating conflict in otherwise peaceful relationships. Over this last election, I developed this horrible habit where I would unconsciously categorize people in my head based on how much their political views agreed with my own. As my daily conversations with people inevitably turned to politics, I would closely watch for how people reacted to the mention of certain political ideas and take note of it as a key factor in how I saw them as a person and how I viewed our relationship as friends, family or classmates. Even when I outwardly put up a cordial front when people expressed political views that I disagree with, inwardly I would unconsciously make a mental note to think less of the person and, in certain instances, try and limit contact with them. It was as if I thought of my own point of view as…
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Dear Readers, if you are interested in hearing about my life, I am having an easier time lately communicating through bunny doodles. I therefore direct you to my new experimental blog: thebunnieswhotry.wordpress.com 🙂 Stay tuned for further Maney-related updates.
This weekend my fiance and I had to drive to our parents’ homes to see our families, work on wedding preparations, and (in my case) attend a rip-roarin’ summer sleepover party with girl friends. Everything went great, but there was one problem: I didn’t get to bed until 3 a.m. on two separate nights. As you can imagine, I spent much of church with my head in my lap, trying and failing to lull myself to sleep in exhausted desperation.
*imagine a bunny that is comically slumped forward on a church pew, I don’t feel like drawing it right now, I’m still really tired*
After church on Sunday, we visited a friend’s house to bond over tortillas and sing hymns around a piano. As the hours ticked by, I could feel my strength waning, along with my patience. My friends may have had the gumption to sing on key, harmonize–heck, even socialize, but…
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Look I did a doodle of some bunnies on a different WordPress site. Maybe this will become a routine. Who knows.
I live near my fiancé in a college town. He’s in school and I just graduated. We’re getting married this summer, but before then I have to find a job. It stresses me out. I imagine us as bunnies. Here is a typical day.
This is me. I have depression.
I like to call him when his classes get out. He asks what I’m doing.
This is what I’ve been doing today.
But I don’t want him to know that.
He’s always a lot more busy (and optimistic) than I am.
He makes me happy. And tired.
“For me, the missing link all along was love.” I love these heartfelt thoughts on unconditional self-worth, needless judgement, and the Savior’s life-changing Atonement.
Lately, I have become more aware of how easily I link people’s actions to my overall perception of their worth as a person. It is a really ugly habit that I am working on. I find it so hard to not impose my own set of personal standards onto other people. On the one hand, I don’t think that it is good to simply pass over sin and numb our standards to a point where we have an “anything goes” attitude. On the other hand, I believe that it is far worse to see people as their sins or to condemn others solely based on our limited understanding of their lives.
A few weeks ago I found myself in such a dilemma as I reflected over the choices that a friend of mine was making in their life. I caught myself dangerously falling into the routine of trying to impose…
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There’s a little language, but I still plead with you to read this article, if only to understand me, yourself, or other people with mental illness better. Also, this bit is so true for me:
“So I sit as still as possible and I desperately hope that my stillness doesn’t make it seem like I don’t want to be touched.
I do want to be touched.
I won’t tell you that.”
When I hear your footsteps approaching me in the dark, what you don’t know is that I’m quietly muttering under my breath, “Please, please don’t be angry.”
I hide the bite marks on my hand. I keep my face hidden under the hood of my coat. I try to will myself into disappearance.
I fucked everything up.
I’m bracing myself for impact.
I didn’t want to hurt anyone.
You don’t remind me what I should or shouldn’t have done. You don’t remark on the inconvenience of it all. You don’t tell me, through clenched teeth, that I should know better by now.
You both sit down next to me – someone asks me if I’m okay, someone else puts an arm around me. And while I don’t move or respond to that touch, it takes everything in me not to.
In that moment, I am afraid for you to know how much…
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Dear humans who read this, I hope that the holidays treat you well. I hope they are filled with joy and love, and that all your dreams come true. I hope you look back on December 2015 as one of the best times of your life, and that you move forward into 2016 with renewed … Continue reading My Capital-T Truth