Here’s Looking at You, Hope

Here's to crying yourself to sleep with the Finding Nemo theme playing, grounding you in unreachable hope. Here's to sleeping in out of fear of depression, only to realize that the day is bright and full of hope, and you feel better. Dear readers, don't you ever give up. Life seems like too great a … Continue reading Here’s Looking at You, Hope

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Poetry Friday: Doubt

I recently found this post in my old drafts. I don't remember why I wrote it, but I like it. Doubt It depends on the day how I feel about us; about you. There are so many secret complications, internal struggles, that it's enough to make it all not worth it. Can I trust you? … Continue reading Poetry Friday: Doubt

S-A-F-E-T-Y Nap

That moment when it is amazing weather in February and all the neighborhood kids and moms are playing outside but you have a cold and your head had been hurting for hours and all food tastes like dirt and you can't muster the courage to enjoy the day because of course you are still depressed … Continue reading S-A-F-E-T-Y Nap

contact

Hello, my dear readers! I would love to connect with as many people as possible. Please feel free to contact me with questions, personal stories, post suggestions, topics to cover, possible guest posts, or nonsense like that using this contact form: Or, if you prefer, you can email me at this address: maneysmilesback at gmail dot com … Continue reading contact

The Unglamorous Art of Surviving

Dear Reader, You asked how I function; how I get through the day. You asked how long it took for me to accept that my loved one was gone. You asked for advice. Well, here are words: You have recently lost a loved one, and I am so deeply sorry for you. It has been … Continue reading The Unglamorous Art of Surviving

get real

Another post I wrote for YMF. Listen, believe, and love, y’all.

Young Mormon Feminists

trigger warning: sexual assault and suicide

Sometimes I can wrap up ugly pieces of the world in pretty bows. I find my needed peace in my Savior, my faith, and my family.

But sometimes, sometimes, peace is less important than reality.

Sometimes the voices crying from the darkness are more important than the voices comforting us with light.

We need someone to hear us.

Just listen to us.

Just believe that there is real horror out there.

Our nightmares are reality.

We are helpless.

We are hopeless.

We are alone.

All around is darkness.

The pain in unending.

The hurt knows no bounds.

THERE IS NO PEACE TO BE FOUND.

Just believe us, okay?

* * *

Humans who feel like this, my stomach is in knots over you. I love you all. Please seek support if you can. Below are two hotlines for you to call if you need…

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Dear Professor: What I Can’t Say

Dear Professor, I'm really sorry for missing class today. I took the bus from home as usual, but half way to the school I was feeling so nauseated that I had to get off the bus and wait for my dad to pick me up. I attribute this to the cold I've been dealing with, … Continue reading Dear Professor: What I Can’t Say