Something Worth Waiting For

I didn't cry when he proposed to me, but I'm crying now. Looking at the pictures of the proposal, his perfect face glowing with happiness, fills me with an emotion so deep I didn't even know it existed. I don't know if it has a name. It involves the knowledge of how unbearable life has … Continue reading Something Worth Waiting For

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What Santa Taught Me This Year

Every year my parents instruct us to write a note to Santa to put with the milk and cookies. This year I was the only child who conceded, but only because I had the ulterior motive of pointing the finger of blame at a certain jolly old man. I wrote a letter to him asking questions … Continue reading What Santa Taught Me This Year

Poetry Friday: Enough

Enough   I will shake with sobs on the couch in the office, cover my face and wish it were over.   I will build a pyramid of used tissues in my lap as my tears stream; slowly working through the questions, and, even harder, the answers.   I will leave thinking I am through—too … Continue reading Poetry Friday: Enough

You Are the Reason

I guess I'm not a serious blogger yet because today when my professor asked me what I blog about, I didn't know what to say. I gave her a vague, "Mormonism... depression... and other mental illnesses I deal with." Don't real bloggers have a catchy phrase memorized that will be sure to get them followers and … Continue reading You Are the Reason

See Maney Love

Once upon a time, I spent the last month in San Francisco as a nanny. Good, good. First time I lived out of state, ever. I guess this should have made some kind of impression on me, but really I feel like I'm just in shock that I'm home again. I spent the greater part of June/July feeling … Continue reading See Maney Love

She’s There, and I Love Her

Today I realized that I silently judge people with stigma against mental health problems. I don't even know anyone who is wildly discriminating or disrespectful. Yet, I go around stewing in hypocritical judgement of my own misguided brothers and sisters. Mental illness runs in both sides of my family. Both sides have dealt with pain … Continue reading She’s There, and I Love Her