Today, for the first time in months, I went jogging. To be clear, I really dislike jogging. And yet, jog I did. It took three different realizations to motivate me to make the decision to do it, and I'd like to share them with you here. Who knows? Maybe my experience could help you. Number … Continue reading Three Tips for Goal Achievement: Lessons in Jogging
I have the words "do it badly” written on my wrist in blue ink today because I skimmed over an article about anxiety this morning which suggested I make that my motto. Do it badly. My takeaway was, don’t be overcome by your perfectionism and do nothing. Decide that you can fail at what you … Continue reading Do It Badly: Baby Steps to Progress
My anxiety’s not as bad as it used to be, but I know that some of you have it that bad and worse. Hold on. You feel alone but you’re not.
These are things I tell myself when I feel an anxiety attack coming on, which happens about once on good days.
- You are invisible. People who look at you can’t really see you.
- Humans can smell fear. As long as you don’t act afraid, they won’t hurt you.
- Name off as many words as you can that begin with C but make the S sound. Cistern, circular, celestial…
- Notice people’s shoes.
- Count in Binary on your fingers. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5…
- Don’t step on the cracks.
- Sing happy songs. “You Are My Sunshine,” “Danny Boy,” “Into the West,” “If All the Raindrops…”
- Make believe you’re someone else, someone who’s normal and happy.
- Hide in the bathroom until your brain stops humming.
- Crying in bathroom stalls is allowed. Just get quiet when other shoes shuffle inside.
- Hugging yourself is allowed.
- Don’t smile unless you want to. They can’t take that…
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Here's to crying yourself to sleep with the Finding Nemo theme playing, grounding you in unreachable hope. Here's to sleeping in out of fear of depression, only to realize that the day is bright and full of hope, and you feel better. Dear readers, don't you ever give up. Life seems like too great a … Continue reading Here’s Looking at You, Hope
I recently found this post in my old drafts. I don't remember why I wrote it, but I like it. Doubt It depends on the day how I feel about us; about you. There are so many secret complications, internal struggles, that it's enough to make it all not worth it. Can I trust you? … Continue reading Poetry Friday: Doubt
I never feel quite as alive as when I'm being rebuked for something. It's like all of my blood freezes in place; my breathing shallow; my eyes wide and nearly watering. (It's awful.) Truly, every other moment in life is blissful dreams compared to how a perfectionist feels when being asked to improve. The problem this … Continue reading Lesson Learned
That moment when it is amazing weather in February and all the neighborhood kids and moms are playing outside but you have a cold and your head had been hurting for hours and all food tastes like dirt and you can't muster the courage to enjoy the day because of course you are still depressed … Continue reading S-A-F-E-T-Y Nap