Plans Change and Oh Well

My sister introduced me to a bunch of YouTubers last night, so I’m actually super distracted by Tyler Oakley right now, but here goes anyway.

I used to be concerned that if I got better I would have nothing to blog about. Well, my fears are being realized. Of course this is a good thing, but since I have this whole MWF thing going on with you guys, if I run out of depression stuff, then what will I talk about? I’m afraid that after a few embarrassing moment posts I’ll lose all respect from followers, and my chances of getting hired will evaporate because employers will tut-tut about this blog in future job interviews.

Oh well.

In junior high I made a goal that by the time I turned sixteen, I would have a pixie cut, be on the track team, and be popular (back when I cared, I guess). Cut to me at sixteen: did not happen. Not because it couldn’t have happened, but because the image didn’t fit me by that time. I did eventually get a pixie cut, which is growing out now. I never joined a track team again after seventh grade (jogging still upsets me).

Last year I started this blog assuming I was done dealing with depression and it was time to share my hope and wisdom with others. Then I got bad again. I’ll admit, I sometimes read my own posts for inspiration. (I particularly like the recent posts On Being Loved, Battlefield, and Getting Serious Adult Help.) My plan to inspire others totally flipped.

Now I’m blinking into the vast expanse that is my future without knowing what’s going on or what’s going to happen. It’s scary. But at the same time, dear Readers, I think it’s going to be okay. Maybe I won’t get what I think I want right now (which is to be popular, obviously).

Maybe it will be something better.

To quote Sondre Lerche,

“I’m not gonna lie
Saying everyone will be all right
And fine until we die
What else can you do but hope and pray
And say that we’ll get by

Be prepared to be surprised
Better be prepared to be surprised
Baby, be prepared to be surprised
Better be prepared to be surprised
It’s all I know”

P.S. I love the movie Dan in Real Life. You should probably go watch it right now.


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