Confessions of a Beautiful Girl

I’ve done a bad thing. All last semester I chose not to wear makeup. Not because I was super against animal testing or the exploited image of women in the media or anything. I just wasn’t interested. And I guess I got used to the way my face naturally looks (unless you count using prescription contacts; otherwise I’d stumble around in a blind daze and probably get run over by a tree). I take personal hygiene seriously, but mascara and hair products? Foundation and straighteners? Not my thing.

So all through the first week of this semester, I determinedly showered in the morning (not my fav), put on makeup, and skipped off all sparkly to school. Everything was fine and dandy until the weekend. I realized that I had come to sincerely believe that I am just as pretty without makeup as I am with it. So why waste time, money, and brain-space on something that, in my opinion, doesn’t improve my look?

This is another thing that might not be okay: I’ve taken to covering up mirrors around the house and replacing them with sayings like “Love yourself!” “God loves you!” and “God looketh on the heart!” (1 Samuel 16:7) I’m tired of judging myself if my first thought isn’t going to be “Oh MAN, this girl is attractive!” or “What a wonderful daughter of God!” or “Could I be anymore awesome?!” Maybe mirrors are just a conspiracy to make us all think we aren’t enough to be beautiful or handsome or “okay.” (Admittedly I may be going insane, but at least I’ll have good self-esteem as my sanity boat leaves the harbor… if it hasn’t already left.)

Maybe you’re wondering why I think these things are bad. Well, I don’t know exactly. I just feel like it isn’t normal and I should be more concerned with my outward appearance. Right? Isn’t that a big part of what gets people friends and jobs and eventually a spouse? Looking… pretty? EXCEPT, I think that I am pretty! And I believe that God thinks I’m pretty. In fact, I believe He thinks I’m beautiful. So… the gray dots* have kind of stopped sticking. Sorry, advertisers.

*(see You Are Special by Max Lucado)

P.S. Hello! to whoever (whomever?) is reading this. I just wanted to acknowledge that you exist. I tell people I only blog for myself but I guess that doesn’t make sense. So if you want to comment or anything, I’ll respond. I’m a writer, and writers write. They also, I am coming to realize, need help writing. I’ll take constructive criticism or compliments or arguments or agreements. Thanks for being here. God loves you. Keep shining.

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